My baby isn’t quite a BABY anymore. I think once they start walking around or in her case running at top speeds away from me, then they are supposed to be toddlers right? Like once they can toddle they are toddlers. She is 18 months old this week. 18 months old is a weird time because while they are technically toddlers many (mine specifically) cannot talk. Now that doesn’t mean she’s quiet, she’s very loud. She talks in her little baby language all day long. She also yells a lot. But there is a gap here that keeps us from understanding each other. We are clearly speaking different languages and it’s making us both pretty frustrated. This period of her being really still a baby but running around like a toddler we call being a boddler.

 

Negatives of being a boddler:

  1. Knows what they want and is pissed that you don’t. Points and grunts once or twice at an area that is quite large and you just hold things up while they get more and more frustrated that you’re such a fucking idiot to offer them a glass of water when THEY WANTED SUNSCREEN! NOW LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE DONE. This always ends in screaming.
  2. Wants to go on the slide, but can’t go by themselves quite yet so you have to go too. But you better not go too slow or it’s boring and they want to crawl back up. My butt may not be helping with the speed. This ends in screaming.
  3. Is hungry. Cannot tell you they are hungry so just throws their tiny body to the floor and writhes in pain. Clearly this ends in screaming.
  4. Wants to be held all the fucking time. Clingy like a monkey. Doesn’t understand that you cannot make food and hold them at the same time.
  5. Has decided what food they like. They will throw all other food on the floor. If you do not give the food they like… this ends in screaming.

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Positives of being a Boddler:

  1. Still tiny and babylike. Has double chins and giant cheeks.
  2. Not too heavy when throwing a tantrum. Toddlers throw tantrums that are physically painful to carry them during. A boddler you can technically still restrain with a hug.
  3. Can generally be comforted with a snuggle and comfort object and you’re still allowed to breastfeed/give bottles without judgement.
  4. Takes naps still.
  5. Doesn’t talk so they can’t talk your ear off all day or make decisions about what tv show you are watching (spoiler alert I’m not watching ANY kids shows, we only watch movies until she can request otherwise).

You get the idea. This period between baby and toddler has me praying to whatever higher power may or may not exist (I’m agnostic what do you want from me?) that she learns to talk soon though. We’ve got a handful of words. Bubba (the dogs name sort of) BaBA (Daddy in mandarin) BAba (Bottle), Mama, Bye Bye, HIIIIII, and uh oh. These aren’t helping me much and I’m sure you noticed that they all sound kind of similar. Please sent tots and pears that we get through this phase without me losing my sanity or her ending up in therapy as an adult.