My blog started as the redheaded rambler. From day one I knew I was going to write long posts with a lot of rambling meandering paragraphs and run on sentences. You see it’s who I am. I am a talker. An oversharer. To create a blog that wasn’t, that would be a dishonest version of myself. But I truly didn’t have any idea what I would write about. I love fashion, nerd stuff, music, the arts, politics (yes it’s a long list I’m bad at editing okay) but there is a lot of people more qualified to write about that and more interesting to boot. It wasn’t until I had Juni that I realized I wanted to be that mom who told the truth. I was tired of feeling like everyone around me wasn’t honest with me about how it would feel as a new mother and I was as the internet likes to say SHOOK. I wanted to have myself and my friends represented. I wanted to feel less alone and have others feel less alone too. I was tired of seeing picture perfect Instagram mommies with beautiful white couches and seemingly no other job but their hair/make up, sponsors and obviously their beautiful children. So I started writing about motherhood. I changed my title to the Redheaded Rambling Mama. Yes it’s still too long and if you come up with something better please comment because I can’t seem to do so. I’m a long winded person as has been established so it’s been brought to my attention that maybe it’s suitable. More than 6 months later I am really enjoying the connection and support I’ve gotten from my ramblings. But nothing has given my more joy than the outpouring of love I have received after going on a Youtube show called Relatable with Stephanie Michelle.

Yes I regret wearing green and matching the chairs. But as far as regrets go it’s low on the list.

See my oversharing isn’t just online, it’s in person too. And a few months ago I made a new friend from my habit. I was at a wedding for my husbands best friend. The wedding was over and I saw another couple that I had met briefly at another event for the couple (and also once when I injured myself horrendously and embarrassingly during a yoga class aka why I don’t exercise). They were standing off to the side, the woman named let’s call her Vee seemed tired and a bit bored. She was definitely not out there dancing drunkenly with everyone else and the party was about to move to the hotel. However she and her husband who was also a long time friend of the groom weren’t staying at the same hotel and had ubered to the wedding. They seemed interesting and cool and maybe like they needed a push to hang out. So I decided to offer them a ride. I was a little drunk and when I’m drunk my outspokenness goes up about 3 levels. I joked that we would ONLY murder them if they got in our car so what do they have to lose? Short story long they came along, we talked all night and found out we had a lot in common. A month later I get an Instagram message from my wedding friend Vee saying she worked on this show and would I like to be a guest? WELL OF COURSE I WOULD. I love talking about myself after all and here was someone who’s going to let me for a full fucking hour? Hell yeah I’m in. But to add to that I was really touched that she not only remembered me, wanted to be friends and thought well enough of me to think I’d be good at this. It was a push I needed right when I was thinking I maybe had no direction or business doing this blog. She said her boss wanted a mom who was open and honest and could talk about how to remain friends with other women who don’t have children after you have kids. This was a topic I was interested in since it truly is a struggle to maintain ANY friendships after having a baby much less ones that are in a completely different life stage.

So a few weeks pass, and I am there to film this show in Downtown LA. I’m nervous and excited. If I can say so it went extremely well but you can see for yourself on that link I put up top. I felt natural on camera in a way I didn’t expect. Partially it was that Stephanie Michelle is so welcoming and open and kind that the awkwardness soon dissipated from the room. The other part was I saw my friend behind the camera focused on her job and supporting me. But I soon forgot the camera was there, I was able to talk about the real deal of how hard it is to be a new mother. It was exactly how I hoped it would be and reminded me that I love public speaking. What happened next was what I didn’t expect.

Hell yes I took a selfie. It seemed like too good to be true that the building we were filming in had a giant motherhood inspired mural.

As soon as I walked out of the office I started getting messages. Mothers reaching out and saying “you really told it how it is, you represented me, I felt seen and heard”. It was a live show so I had moms from my mom group and from my family and friends all over the country who had watched and felt supported from my big rambling mouth. It was what I had hoped. What I had started this for. This last week has been nothing but eye opening. That I’m going in the right direction. I’m following my gut that my habit of oversharing isn’t necessarily a bad thing and can in fact be a plus. Yes there will still be times that I speak without thinking and have to take my foot out of my mouth and apologize, learn and let someone else speak but overall that is good too. Anyway to all the mamas and friends that have reached out and said they loved it, they supported me, they feel how I feel, THANK YOU. Thank you for being honest and connecting with me. I’m going to keep trying to do this. But more than that. I want to know what you want to hear? What is it that stresses you? What is it that you feel isn’t talked about enough? Because I can guaren-FUCKING-tee that you aren’t alone in that and likely we are on the exact same page and I’ll overshare so you don’t feel alone again.